His eMOtions

Tied behind your back
in a million knots- you squeeze until your knuckles are sore
they exist, they're real

Fantasizing about coming to life
draining your thoughts all day
Talking to you through your dreams at night
-you can't figure them out
yet they exist, they're real

You try to hide them from the world
it's better if you pretend
but remember they exist, they're real

Then you met me...
they are pleading with me, begging for a chance to be set free
-to be acknowledged
and through your eyes we communicate, when words are just too much
With a blink, you try to shut me out

Streaming down your face
-it has materialized itself into tears...
they exist, they're real
His eMOtions

Food For Thought

“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”

~Maya Angelou

EVAPORATE

Dew is water in the form of droplets that appears on thin, exposed objects in the morning or evening. As the exposed surface cools by radiating its heat, atmospheric moisture condenses at a rate greater than that at which it can evaporate, resulting in the formation of water droplets.....

As dew sits on the narrow petals so you engulf my mind-
sitting perfectly still only moving on when YOU want to
Never realizing just how much you mean to me and the way you make me feel
staying with me day and night only making it harder to deal with
The presence of you so distant yet all encompassing

…and its just the memory of you I keep holding onto
Tryna convince myself that its you I belong to
Over and over again I hang my head with worries
My eyes fill with tears, my heart aches like a cut trying to heal
And my stomach is inside out –FREQUENTLY
Fearful that the “one day” you’ll love me as hard as much as I love you is in another life
Or it has passed and in that fleeting moment I looked down and missed the opportunity to grab it...
Did I miss it? Because sometimes I feel that if I stretch my arms far enough
–if I put just enough effort and lean my body in with the stretch I may be able to catch it even touch it with the tips of my fingers- did I miss it?
Like lingering cologne with each breath I’m reminded
that maybe you’ve moved on and new love has you blind
Forgetting what once was so sweet and so true
the days when life felt like it revolved around you
And in your eyes was everything I needed to see in your arms is where I wanted to be
I remember the laughter, the bickering, the fights
Laying together talking in the bed at night
Exhaling and laying on your chest
Knowing that forever we had left…..

PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME…..

Too many people are uncomfortable with being “alone” or not in a relationship? Why?

Lets face it, today’s society puts a lot more weight on being married or in a relationship than if you are single. If you are married you are automatically perceived as happy. You get more respect from people at work and in your personal life and more than likely people who don’t even know you and see you with that ring on your finger place you in a higher regard than they would a single woman or single man…you’ve got your stuff together, or so it seems.

We all know at least one man or woman in a relationship that is not in their best interest-whether it be physically, mentally, or emotionally one way or another they are being negatively affected by their partner(s). The question is what do the people in these relationships have in common? What is the difference between them and someone who appears to be happy “alone”? Why would a person rather stay in a relationship when the love or happiness is gone, just because they want to say they are with somebody?


People who end up in these types of situations are often times unhappy with themselves- miserable even. These relationships are made up of men and women who would rather be comfortable than truly happy, they feel that being a plus one is always better than being just one because they “don’t want to be alone” it starts early. The unhappiness/insecurities that they are feeling within themselves prompts them to clamp onto the first man/woman that shows them some attention causing them to overlook or blow off what are sometimes serious character flaws within an individual due to the infatuation they have with the idea of simply being with someone. It is easy to get caught up in looks and material possessions like a “nice car” or a “good job” and end up overlooking a hugely pessimistic attitude or a very bad temper that later will result in lack of support for you and your goals/dreams or even physical or emotional/mental abuse. Is it worth it? Is it cool to be with someone who you think you are in love with if you don’t actually love them-as the person they are because of their ways? A clear distinction needs to be made around those feelings.

On Love

Being in love is completely different from loving someone- people often blur the lines between the two. Just because you love someone that does not a relationship make. At my age (young-LOL) a lot of people are running down the isles to the altar. They may have found the man of their dreams and feel that they need look no further. They may have been “in love” love (1-2 years) which many would argue is not enough time to say you actually know a person—the real person, or they may have been in a relationship long term (upwards of 5 years) and getting married is the next logical step –to them, and to the outside world. It is just the right thing to do. This builds a marriage of convenience
mar·riage of con·ven·ience (n)
a marriage between two people that is intended to serve a practical, financial, or political purpose and is not based on their love for each other

Meanwhile, behind closed doors, they may be undergoing all sorts of changes, they know that they don’t want to be together deep down but figure it would be too hard to break up at this point. Maybe they are doing it for the kids, their “family” or maybe they are doing it because much like everything else in their lives they are settling and would rather float through without interrupting the current. It is not killing them in ways their naked eyes can see. They may be abusive to each other or just one partner to the other. They may be emotionally and mentally pushed to their limits because one or one or both of them have another relationship(s). Regardless they would rather ignore everything that doesn’t feel right or even hurts outright because they cannot imagine handling the situation for what it is—or “alone”.

Bottom Line: Surely one who can be happy alone is one who has managed to find happiness within themselves. Furthermore, you cannot achieve happiness through someone else-Let It Go.